Our Little Love Bug

I don't even know where to begin to explain how much joy and happiness my little man brings me. Along with the joy he brings me a little sleep deprivation but he is worth it, every minute of it.

The Birth
August 27th I went to the hospital because I had a fever and the doctor wanted to check me out. My heart rate was high and so was the little man's and since I was so far along (maybe 38 weeks) the doctor decided to induce me. I was in labor a little over 7 hours and Logan was born August 28th at 3:07 a.m. He was 22 inches long and weight 8lbs. and 4oz. We were in love the minute we saw him. What a miracle it is to have a baby. I am so happy that I am a woman and that I was the lucky one to bring this little piece of heaven into the world. The delivery was easy breezy just like my pregnancy was and I feel very fortunate for that and look forward to doing it all over again.

The not so simple:
The last week of pregnancy. I was miserable pretty much the whole time.

my BIG little baby

Our little family

Our Love Bug

Week 1
Oh man is he really mine? I could just let him lay on my chest forever and ever. He smells so good and I love his little hands and feet. His hair is so soft and his cry is so sweet and I can hardly believe he is mine. I LOVE this week, I LOVE my baby, and I LOVE my husband! It just so happend that Adam had the whole week off and it was so great to have him around. He seriously is the BEST!

The not so simple:
Breast Feeding. I knew that it would be a struggle but you don't know how much of a struggle it will be until you are actually in the situation. Luckily by the end of the week we started getting the hang of it.

Our little man's photo shoot taken by my talented husband.

Logan ended up peeing and pooping without his diaper on. We thought it was pretty hilarious!

Week 2
Thank goodness for all the kind women in my ward and for our wonderful family members. We have been well fed! We get 7 dinners from members in our ward and when we didn't have a dinner coming from them someone from one of our families sure picked up the slack. Those dinners were seriously heaven sent. It was so nice to not have to go grocery shopping or think of what to make for dinner. Thank you so much to everyone who brought us dinner they were all so delicious. Adam was back to work and I sure missed him. I realized how easy the first week was because of him. Thank you boy for all of your help.

My little man is everything I could have every hoped for. I just want to be with him all the time and many of his naps get spent in my arms and i just cherish this time because I know it won't last forever.

The not so simple:
1. Sleep or lack there of-I think it is finally starting to catch up to me and I miss it. It is sad to think that this is just the beginning of my tiredness and that it will probably only get worse.
2. Headaches-Killer headaches! I hear that it can be an effect of the epidural and it sure is effecting me. I hope they will go away soon.

Week 3
St. George-Logan's first vacation. It was so much fun to have a little get-away with the Wray's and much needed (by me). We really just hung out but I didn't have laundry to wash, a house to clean, dishes that needed to be put away, all I had to worry about is feeding the little man, taking naps, and reading books, it was awesome! Thanks for the invite Taylor and Sherrie, we had a great time.

The not so simple:
Stopping 2 times on the way to St. George to breast feed effectively turning a four hour drive into five and a half.

Hanging out by the pool

Weeks 4-5
I'm starting to feel like a normal person again and it feels great. Me and the little man go for a walk every morning because the weather is nice. Logan is such an enjoyable baby and his routine consists of eating then playing then sleeping and as a mom I love all these activities.

Logan's Firsts:
First smile for Adam: September 30th (so he say's) :)
First smile for Me: October 2nd (this made my heart melt)
Rolled over from his belly to his back on September 30th and we both saw it. It was an exciting moment for us, we love him!

The not so simple:
1. Adam's work weeks-I miss him!
2. Sleep-If I could sleep 4 hours strait or even 3 that would be awesome.

Week 6
My baby is 6 weeks and I can't even believe it. He is darling, darling, darling! He is such a good baby. I'm in love with my life!

The Most Wonderful Present

We finally had our big ultra sound where we found out the sex of our baby and we were so excited for it. We feel like we have been waiting so long and the day finally came. The best way to describe it for me is the night before I felt like I was a child and it was christmas morning the next day. I didn't sleep very well because I was just so anxious.

We received the most wonderful present from our Heavenly Father and our precious little baby is a BOY!!! To add to the great news he is developing properly and everything seems to be on the right track.

The little Mister's stats:
Heart Beat 171
Weight 1 pound
The ultra sound technician said that by his size she would move up his due date from September 10th to August 31st. Our Doctor on the other hand is happy with our due date and says that we just have a big active baby on our hands. (Eeek does this mean I am going to have a 9lb. baby that is crazy active?!) Lucky us! We will happily take this little boy crazy or mellow, big or little.

Here are some of the cute, cute, cute ultra sound pictures.

See? It doesn't take a docter to tell what that is!

Look close! There is a hand and a foot!

Judging from the profile this is one good lookin' kid!

HI!

HUMP DAY!!!

It is official, I am 20 weeks along, which means I am half way there, yay!! My cute husband suprised me with a hump day present (to be honest that is how I found out it is called hump day). The note attached to the present said:

Happy Hump Day!
(because you’re half way and because of what we did to get that thing)



His letter was very sweet and so was his thoughtful present. Thanks Hubby, I love, love, love you!!!

We have been taking some pictures of my growing belly and I think in the last week my belly has doubled in size. Now I am really starting to think I am pregnant or there is actually some proof of it. In fact people are starting to ask me if I have a baby in there (thank goodness I do!) and someone actually offered to carry something for me at the store! There are some nice people out there.

So here is the growing belly pictures. We had three but our middle picture which I believe was 17 weeks seems to be missing so here are the other two.


13 Weeks


20 Weeks (The look on my face says, "Wait a minute, I thought something felt different")

Coming Soon...
Next Tuesday 9:00 a.m. we will finally know the sex of our little baby.

WE CAN'T WAIT!!!

Half Way!?

Heidi continues to grow and I don't think she could be any cuter. Her little belly poked out and grew slowly enough that I didn't notice the size very much until suddenly it got perceptibly bigger in just two days! I can't wait for her tummy to have it's own gravitational pull. In the mean time I still enjoy touching it whenever I can, especially in the morning. For some reason right when Heidi wakes up her belly is particularly firm.

Heidi has been feeling the baby which makes me a little bit jealous because I am excited for when I will be able to feel the baby. Also, I'll be telling Heidi some really important, awesome story perhaps about stereochemistry or how lobotomies work only to find out that she wasn't paying attention because she was focused on trying to feel the baby. I understand this will be a continued trend as I'll probably be getting less and less attention as the baby moves from fetusdom into persondom.

Monday marks twenty weeks of pregnancy. Part of me just can't wait for everything to happen and part of me can't believe how much needs to be done in the next twenty weeks in order to be ready for the baby. We haven't purchased anything, or even made any specific decisions about what to buy. I am trying to build up my mental toughness to be able to counteract, with reason and practicality, Heidi's nesting instinct.

One thing we are looking forward to is finding out the sex of the baby. April 27th at 9:00 AM is our ultrasound appointment. All signs so far are pointing to girl (mostly based on feelings, though) which is great because if the baby is a girl at least we have the name picked out. If the baby turns out to be a boy we don't even have a top five list going.

The semester is coming to a close and summer semester will begin shortly. Originally I was looking forward to having the summer off, but considering the circumstances I could not be more excited to go to school all summer and take fall semester off. Summer semester ends at the end of August, which means that after my last final Heidi will be unable to tie her own shoes and I won't have any homework. We'll have four entire months as a family of three and I'll have seven days off in a row every other week to spend on my two most important people.

March Madness

Oh my goodness so much has happend in the past month and I think I said almost everyday that I was going to blog. Well it looks like I never got to it. I have just been busy busy. With work and work and work I guess blogging just gets put on the back burner. Luckily we were able to sneek in a little vacation to celebrate our birthday's and our anniversary.

***BIRTHDAY DINNER***

We were so excited to let our families know that we were having a baby and thought it would be fun to let them all know at the same time. So on March 7th we had a joint birthday dinner at my brother's house. My family always calls on Adam to say the prayer before dinner so we had planned that he would just let our good news out during the prayer. Oh man, it was cute I have never seen Adam so nervous (except for maybe when he proposed) he was talking so fast and his voice pitch was extra high. I was just trying to concentrate on not crying and not being so nervous but it was really hard. Adam finished up his prayer by saying something like "please bless that all of our nieces and nephews will accept their new little cousin coming this September". Everyone was super excited for us and we were so happy that we no longer had to keep this fun news a secret. So fun!! My sister and her family were unable to make the party and we missed them!

***THE HEARTBEAT***

I was wondering what would be going on at our next Doctor's appointment and, lucky us, we got to hear our little baby's heartbeat. I don't even know how to put in words the overwhelmeing feelings of joy I felt when I heard that sound. Undescribably amazing. It brought tears to both of our eyes (surprise, surprise) I love my sensitive husband. Our Doctor said by the speed of the heartbeat he would say it was a girl but he is wrong 50% of the time. I guess we will just wait to find out in April when we have our big ultra sound. It will be fun to know what we are having so we can start buying a few things or at least planning a little bit.

***A MUCH NEEDED VACATION***

I can't believe that Adam and I have been married for a year, crazy! What a fun, fun year it has been. I just feel so lucky everyday that I married my best friend who makes me so happy and treats me so good. Who loves the gospel and makes me want to be a better person. Who is going to be the best dad ever, needless to say I am loving the journey to happily ever after.

St. George...
So we headed down to St. George March 18th-22nd for a weekend of no work, homework or any sort of obligation. Thank goodness the morning sickness is finally gone. We had so much fun. We went to Vegas for a day and went to a few museums and had a yummy buffet dinner at the Paris Hotel. We also went golfing, mini golfing, to the batting cages, to the pool and just hung out in big house for the weekend. Seriously the master bedroom is bigger then our little student apartment the place that we call home and love so much. We also went to Zions and went on a few little hikes. It was the perfect weekend away.


On our way to St. George we had breakfast at the Original Pancake House with Adam's siblings to celebrate his birthday


At the wax museum Tiger started gettin' fresh


Adam was so mad!


At Zion's National Park

***OH MY, OH MY, HOW THINGS KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER***

Can I just start out by saying how much I love being pregnant. I think that I have already forgotten the morning sickness stage. I feel like I am a normal person again that has energy and I actuallly feel motivated to get a few things done. I am loving the belly that is growing on my body and the little movements of flutters I feel when i have a chance to sit down and relax. Oh that's right you heard it I am feeling our little baby move inside me. I LOVE IT!!! So I felt our baby first in the morning on March 31st while I was watching the news. I didn't know if I believed or not because I was only 17 weeks along and I didn't think I would feel him or her until I was a little further along. So I muted the television and I felt the little bean move again. I love it and any time I find the time to relax a little bit I take it. I don't always feel the baby when I lay down but I treasure the times I do. What a neat and special experience this is to me.

I hope I didn't leave anything out. We are just so excited right now and having so much fun having all of these experiences. We can't wait to meet our little child but on the same token we just want to enjoy every minute and notice the special moments along the way.

Proof of Our Miracle

I had never been in the room during a woman's gynecological exam, nor did I waste any time thinking about when such an event might occur in my life. Well, for good or ill, this is how I will always remember our first ultrasound: preceded by a pap smear. I hope no one thinks it odd of me for wanting to go check out what the doctor was doing down there. Maybe I could have used it as doctor shadowing experience! At any rate, hopefully you are all willing to discount it as the type of healthy curiosity anyone desiring to enter the medical field should have.

After all of that weirdness was complete we moved on to the exciting part!

Seeing our baby for the first time was such a great experience. It's amazing how much we are able to see, however grainy and pixilated the image is, when the growing embryo is still so small. The doctor pointed out the heartbeat. Which wasn't much much more than a small blur somewhere in the middle of the light grayish blob that, as it turns out, is our baby's torso.

In retrospect, I though that the prevailing emotion would be excitement upon seeing our baby and even though I felt plenty of excitement I think that the predominant emotion turned out to be relief. Relief that the doctor declared the pregnancy a success so far, relief that the baby is developing on schedule and relief that Heidi's symptoms are well within the normal ranges of discomfort.

I expected that seeing the ultrasound would be what I needed to make this surreal experience feel more tangible, yet it only feels slightly more impending than it did 11 weeks ago. I do like looking at the pictures, though! I like the one where the little bones are visible in the hand.

We left the doctors office and went to the Jordan River Temple to do a session, which seemed like the perfect thing to do.

What a miracle it all is. What a miracle that our baby is so small and even though it will double in size several times over before he or she enters the world, the baby will still seem so small when we are blessed to be able to hold them. What a miracle that when we finally have this person in our daily lives we will wonder how we ever lived without them. What a miracle that our happiness, joy and satisfaction in our lives from now on will be so tightly linked to this inch and a half long, strawberry sized human growing in Heidi's belly. What a miracle that we are connected to them forever. What a miracle that I haven't said or done anything yet that has consigned me to a life of sleeping on the couch.

In reality (with the generosity of Kim and Mary in giving us their old couches) the real miracle is, considering all the peeing Heidi has to do in the middle of the night, that she actually returns to bed and doesn't detour to the couches.

Our First Ultra Sound

We finally had our first doctors appointment last week. I felt like that day would never come. A couple of my friends loved their doctor so I thought I would give him a try. His name is Doctor Terry and his office is at the new IMC hospital in Murray. He was so great, and I couldn't help but like him. Thanks Kelly and Katrina!

We anticipated this appointment with a lot of excitement and nervousness as we hoped for the best news. Luckily Doctor Terry gave us the news we were looking for.

What an amazing feeling it was to actually see our little baby's heart beat! Everything seems to be progressing well right now so that is good news.

This pregnancy has felt real to me for quite sometime but seeing this little baby inside of me made me appreciate this gift my Heavenly Father has given me even more. What a blessing it is to be a woman and be able to carry mine and Adam's child. This is such a great time in life!

I am 10 weeks pregnant and in four weeks I will be in the second trimester. Yay! Our baby is 1 1/2 inches long and weighs about as much as a large strawberry and yet I have gained 4lbs. Where does all the weight come from? It has been fun to feel my belly change even though I don't look cute in anything right now. My clothes are getting a little bit snugger and my bra... Well, lets just say I can't breathe by the end of the day because of it. It is looking like I need to do a little shopping for some unmentionables.

Our first doctors appointment is in exactly a week. We are so excited and can't wait to hear our little baby's heart beat. Adam has been such a great support to me. He has been reading a book called "Dad's Pregnant Too" and is interested in every little thing that is going on with my body. He is always one to do whatever he can to make me feel better or more comfortable. He deals with my mood swings which I am sad to say that I have many. He is always telling me how beautiful I am and how he thinks that he is a lucky guy. Well I am defintely the lucky one. I married the best man who is my best friend and is going to be the most amazing father, I feel so blessed.

I have my ups and downs with being pregnant. I want to love everything about being pregnant because I have been so excited for this moment in my life. But it is really hard to love being sick and to love waking up 4 times, sometimes 5 times, a night to go to the bathroom. Sometimes I get killer headaches and I feel like I am so unmotivated and it can be depressing at times. But I love knowing that these are all very good signs that our baby is growing and I take comfort in that. I know that I don't have morning sickness nearly as bad some women have it so I am very grateful for that and feel blessed that I get to carry our baby.

Funny story: Adam knows that I just haven't been sleeping well at all and the other morning he wakes up and says "I have just been sleeping so good lately!" What?! Did he really just say that? I just thought it was funny because I complain everyday how much I miss sleep at night (which I might as well get used to because I notice how tired new mom's are). Adam works really hard between work and school and taking care of his sick wife that he really deserves to have a good night sleep.

Its a girl? or two?

There isn't much speculating about gender going on around here. Heidi barely entertains the though that our child could in fact be a boy. "We're having a girl," she says, "or two!" Even though having twins is only the most remote possibility. It's just as well, I suppose; we only have girl names picked out and I haven't been able to give any real approval to any boy names. We have all but committed our minds to having a girl. I hope a son won't be too upset that we referred to him as "she" during the first three months of his gestation.

The reality of an embryo growing into a baby inside Heidi's stomach just waiting to join us in mortality and completely destroy my concept of reality is beginning to sink in. I can't think of anything more exciting! Perhaps I'll be more nervous as the fateful day approaches (in fact, I'm sure that the pit in my stomach will begin to form soon enough) but for now I am filled with joy and gratitude that Heidi is pregnant and we will have the opportunity to be parents and welcome a child into our eternal family.

On Sunday, I showed up to church (Heidi and I go to church separately on the Sunday's I have to work) and Heidi was holding a toddler. I found out that his parents were speaking in church and that we were watching him during the meeting. It surprised me how much I enjoyed having the sticky appendaged booger factory there with us. I decided two things as I fed him Cheerio's from the mouth of a dinosaur: First, say goodbye to listening to the talks in sacrament meeting for a decade or so; and second, what a fun adventure we are going to have!

Here is my perspective so far. Already, fatherhood has become the most significant form of leadership I have ever undertaken. As with any type of leadership it is incumbent on the leader to be a wise, competent and prepared guide. In order cram for the fatherhood "exam" I have suddenly been using my time more wisely. I listen to talks, not sports radio, in the car. I memorize scriptures while I walk to and from class. When my alarm goes off, sometimes at 4:00 AM, and all I want to do is go back to sleep, the thought of our child is now a potent spur to getting me to climb over Heidi and get in the shower instead of migrating to the couch. My commitment to love and care for Heidi has deepened. I am more motivated than ever to be the absolute best I can be so that my wife and my child can rely on me for deep love and continued support.

Those have been my thoughts as of late. Aside from watching Heidi go through almost constant nausea and having to change some of my habits as to not upset the fragile emotional state of my wife this is how pregnancy has changed my life.

Catching on?

I think I have given my parents a few clues that we might be pregnant. My mom keeps asking me "Are you trying to tell me something?" Ever since I have been married I have joked with my family that I am pregnant (almost everytime I see them). The last time I told them my Dad says that he actually believes me now.
Here are the clues:

1. We want their couches and we told them if they give them to us we would give them a grandchild or $50. They picked a grandchild.

2. We told them that we are planning on moving into a two bedroom and I guess that is a big sign to them.

3. I called my mom and told her a girl name I like which is Claire Imelda (which is my grandpa's and grandma's middle names) and she again asked "Are you trying to tell me something?"

Well, we are pregnant and maybe I have told them a little too much but we really want their couches and I knew that I would have to negotiate a little bit. I figured the only way the couches would fit is if we had a two bedroom place.

We really love the name Claire Imelda and will have to add it to our list of girl names which seem to come so easily. On the other hand boy names that we like are few and far between.

Morning Sickness...Arrrgghh

Not fun, right? Who knew I could be so unmotivated and lay on the couch seriously all day long. I really started to wonder how some women function while they are pregnant. I get really hungry and sick but I don't want to eat anything because nothing sounds good (sound familiar?). On the other hand I am so very grateful that I am having these pregnancy symptoms and that I know there is a little baby inside of me. In fact, if I have a day that I feel good I get all worried that something is wrong; but I don't want to spend my pregnancy worrying and I have to leave it in my Heavenly Fathers hands.

Ok back to my symptoms I have been getting really sick in the night and just haven't been sleeping well. So after doing a little research I found that if you eat a protein before you go to bed it will help relieve some of that morning sickness. Thank goodenss it works! I have a spoon full or two of peanut butter (with a little bit of honey) before bed and I haven't been getting sick at all the past few nights. I still don't sleep very well but I might as well get used to it.

We have our first Doctors appointment in 3 weeks I am soooo excited!!!

When Someone Lets The Secret Out

Adam and I volunteered to clean the temple this last Tuesday night and pretty much we just scrubbed lockers for the entire 4 hours. Before we started cleaning we had instructions given to us by the employee in charge. There were two jobs to do: Clean the lockers with a chemical called speedball or wipe down the lockers afterward with water to clean the speedball off(if the speedball is left on a surface it will continue to work and eat away the paint).


Adam overheard the lady in charge tell a pregnant girl there that she should only handle the water. So I grabbed the lady and let her know that I am pregnant but that I didn't want anyone in my ward to know and I just wanted to make sure I was not assigned to doing the speed ball. Immediately after I talked to her she asked everybody for their attention (mind you they all just saw me having a queit conversation with her) and she said "if any of you are or may be pregnant do not do the job that involves the speedball, especially if you are in the first trimester." Then we all go off to do our jobs and of course I am a water girl. So I figure that four or so more people may have a pretty good idea that I am pregnant. Oh well, they will just wonder until I finally confirm it.


We are now 7 weeks pregnant and our baby is the size of a blueberry. She keeps letting me know that she's in there by all of the symptoms she has been giving me. I'm not a big fan of morning/all day sickness but it also comforts me to know that it is a sign that our baby is growing and doing well. Fortunately I haven't been throwing up but the nausea seems to be a constant in my life.

You may have noticed that I called our baby "she". Obviously we have no idea what the sex of our baby is but I just don't want to call the baby "it" so on some posts I will call the baby a she and sometimes I will call the baby a he. We are so excited to let everyone know but it won't be until March which just might kill me!

The Big Secret

The Big Secret is that we are not telling people that we are pregnant and it feels like I am on a diet. I feel like I want to stay on the "diet" and not tell anyone that I am pregnant and wait until it feels a little safer. But sometimes I just want to throw it all out the window and tell everyone the great news. I have to say I have cheated a few times and have told a few friends that I am pregnant but really mums the word.

Adam and I thought it would be fun to start blogging about our experience so when we decide to let the news out, our family and friends can come back and read our thoughts, concerns, and excitement.

We are excited for the journey ahead of us even though it still doesn't feel quite real to us yet. I'm sure that will be kicking in soon.

The Results are in...

December 31st will be a day to remember for Adam and I and we can't think of a better way to bring in the new year.

The Story...
So we have been "trying" to have a baby for a few months and I thought it would be fun to see if I was pregnant without telling Adam that "it was that time of the month and we may or may not be pregnant". So I was two days late and I thought it would be fun to tell Adam that I was pregnant over dinner (that is, if I was pregnant). So I went a bought a pregnancy test and came home to take it, which by the way is so exciting but can be a little dissappointing if the results are not what you are hoping for. So I take the test and I am so nervous about the outcome that I can't even be in there why it is processing. I finally get the courage to go in and check and it is possitive. Well, I think. Ok, so it is possitive but I can't really wrap my head around it. Really, I'm pregnant?!

We decided to stay home for New Year's Eve this year because Adam had to wake up for work at 4 the next morning. So I decided to tell him over dinner that is if I can hold it in. I decide I can't talk to him right now because I will just want to tell him the great news. Then my phone rings...it's Adam,ok don't tell him, just wait until tonight. So we talked for a few minutes and thought I was doing pretty well until...

Heidi: "Adam, I have a something I want to tell you"
Adam: "Ok, what?"
Heidi: "Nevermind, I will just tell you later"
Adam: "Why do you always do that? You can't do that, just tell me. Is it going to make me happy or sad?"
Heidi: "Well it's not going to make you sad"
Adam: "Well you better just tell me"
Heidi: "We're having a baby..."
Adam: "What!? Really?!"

I can't think of a better way to bring in the New Year. Candle light dinner with my best friend talking about all the things we have to look forward to in 2010. What a wonderful life.